Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity. The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.

If you don't create change, change will create you. Change starts when someone sees the next step and the first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance. Many fine things can be done in a day if you don't always make that day tomorrow. You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.

Sometimes it's the smallest decisions with larger aims that can change the lives of many. If our attempts can at least become a spark. We are really grateful and the TEAM can proudly proclaim ‘MISSION ACCOMPLISHED’.

If you can LEND A HELPING HAND for the advancement of our country and its people be part of our ENDEAVOR.

Monday, August 1, 2011

SINGLE PARENTING



By: Devi Priya P.G

“The family is both the fundamental unit of society as well as the root of culture. It is a perpetual source of encouragement, advocacy, assurance and emotional refueling that empowers a child to venture with confidence into the greater world and become all that he can be”    
                       
 In this context a not so discussed but an important issue is being thought about – Single Parenting.
                        
       Single parents are known to all of us; every day we come across quite a few-struggling for themselves and their children. But hardly do we realize that, may be because we feel we have bigger problems to worry about. But in reality how hard is to be a single parent, that too in a scenario  
When even parents who live together find it difficult to take care of their children, to do all that is possible for their better future and bring out the best in them. Across the globe there are numerous single parents – either because of death of one parent, divorce or abandonment by the other. Whatever be the underlying causes, the problems faced by them are really huge irrespective of their socio-political-economic backgrounds and ethnicity.
                    
                One of the major issues faced by the single parents apart from a minority of the economically affluent and legally separated is to make both the ends meet financially. Even the basic requirements like food, shelter and education of children are real challenges faced by them. Parental and family supports are not extended beyond certain minimum requirements and to a few such solaces are distant dreams.
                 
                 The society’s attitude towards them and the kind of social isolation is in fact disheartening. Being a single parent need not always be a matter of choice, it can also be due to circumstances beyond one’s control. But in reality the society fails to understand this and treats them disrespectfully-especially if the family is devoid of a male member. In fact every single day is a struggle for them-discharging the responsibilities at home and work and looking after the needs of children are extremely difficult. This becomes even tougher for those with differently abled kids.

                  As a matter of fact majority of the single parent families are female headed. A mother who lives separately with her children is viewed entirely different from a father with his children. This happens irrespective of the class structure and educational qualifications of the female counterpart. The kind of ill-treatment against such women even at workplace both in terms of sexual violence and emotional torture is really a shame. The fact is that many of these cases remain unreported. The so called social activists and women welfare organizations have done little in this regard to curb the menace. Even the religious norms and institutions which intervene very actively when two individuals decide to be together for the rest of their life hardly bothers to address the issues and settle them thereafter once they are separated.

                  The suicidal rates among single parents along with their only hope – their children also stems out from the kind of agony and pressure imposed upon them from the society and even their own family members. Very often the sentiments of the children are so badly hurt and the extent of pain inflicted upon them in their childhood adversely affects their future prospects too. Especially in developing and under developed countries where the social security measures are given least priority such unaddressed issues are numerous. Even though giving a proper legal framework ensuring adequate financial assistance along with timely counseling for the parent and child aren’t the only solution they might solve the problem to a greater extent.

                The potentials of single parents are numerous. They become more self reliant and less co-dependent. They learn to accept the harsh realities of their life and strive to bring out the best in themselves and their children in spite of this their self respect and dignity are being questioned many a times. Their credentials are hardly acknowledged.

Never forget, they need recognition and needs to be treated respectfully for what they are; because they are neither aliens nor superheroes/heroines but are ordinary people like you and me.



9 comments:

  1. first of all congrats Devi for choosing a great topic! superb writing dear..have precisely mentioned all the problems faced by single parents and their children..keep writing dear :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good job Devi..This is an issue which is seldom discussed by youngsters like us.Love the fact that you tried to bring out the triumphs and tribulations faced by them and for throwing light on the skewed perceptions of society in general..A salute to all moms around the world..single or not.!We love you moms!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Outstanding article Devi. :) Loved it.

    There was a time when Neena Gupta's decision to have a child out of a wedlock without even disclosing the name of the father was a major news. Today as families become smaller and smaller, single parent households are no longer as unusual as they were once. With the breakdown of the joint family system as well as the increasing rate of divorce and unmarried parenting, the single parent family is now coming out into the open.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Different thinking..you have selected a not-so much considered topic..
    Women have great ability in bringing up family even without the help of a male member,while very few men pursue the adventure of single-parenting. Really, women deserve honor and the our male-dominating society should understand this. They are not mere models in the advertisements of jewelries, textiles,cosmetics and so on. And also they are not creatures to be ill-treated by dirty gazes and behavior at public places. Meanwhile, feminists should understand the fact that women-empowerment has nothing to do with imitating the male mannerisms, but it lies in the better treatment of women who behave as genuine women and not imitating men in dressings or behavior.

    ReplyDelete
  5. good one, Devi....This topic not regularly touched anywhere....Due to various reasons we find lots of single parents (especially single mothers) in our society, but rarely do we give a second thought before passing our comments or judgements regarding their divorce or separation. Usually, women bear the brunt of sour marriages more than men. There needs to be lot of change in the attitudes of the society.
    As u have said, single parents too need support from the society and we can do that by treating them in a normal way instead of shunning them and not interfere too much into their personal lives.
    Great going...

    Deepa.

    ReplyDelete
  6. nice article devi.........

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thae article is good and thought provoking; many a times we have heard of problems of children in a single parented family, but we have not mused on the problem from both parental and child's view.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi very nice article.Can we use this article in Bharatjanani dot com?
    Contact me @ meenakshi.sahana123@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. I wish you had explored the aspect of how homosexuals are not allowed to adopt even if they are within the bracket of a couple. They are denied everything, in general.

    ReplyDelete